The Che Watch

The Puerto Rico-born actor says: “I think Che had perseverance and morality. Being the underdog and fighting against injustice and standing up for the forgotten moved him so hard.

“Kind of like Jesus, in a way — only Jesus would turn the other cheek. Che wouldn’t.” 
- The Sun 

Dear old Benicio is at it again; Lauding the awesomeness that is Che. In his latest bout of idolatry, Benicio compares Che to Jesus Christ, and says that anyone who wears a Che t-shirt is cool and has good taste. 

Compares him to Jesus Christ, the Biblical savior of mankind. What?

Che advocated the nuclear bombing of the United States, and New York City specifically. He was responsible for the Cuban missile crisis. He boldly stood up in front of the United Nations and confirmed that his people executed their prisoners, and would continue to execute their prisoners(why the United Nations did not automatically send him a strongly worded letter, we may never know).

Benicio del Toro is now officially no longer just an ignorant fool, he has been downgraded to an idiot, according to The Che Watch. Research shows that he has yet to taint the gene pool with his mentally unbalanced DNA, and one can only hope that this will stay the case. 

Where is Darwin when we need him? 

And why does del Toro hate freedom so much? What does he have against living outside of an iron fist, and not having to be afraid of being shot in the face for disagreeing with someone?

I wonder how he’d feel if he was one of Che’s starving soldiers who begged for more food, and were one step away from being executed for it when FIDEL CASTRO of all people stepped in and saved their lives.

Benicio does not even make an intellectual case for Che. He resorts to vague adjectives and character descriptions, almost as though he knows absolutely nothing about Che outside of what a communist propaganda minister would tell him. The beautiful nation of Puerto Rico, of which I love dearly and have spent much time there, should disgrace him as being a taint on the Island of Enchantment.

 Anyone who has watched The Devil Wears Prada knows that fashion is incredibly influential, and effects the lives of more people than one can possibly count. And here we have Gisele Bundchen, arguably one of the most famous super-models of the current generation, rocking a super-hot bikini featuring none other than our favorite Che Guevara. I am a man, so I obviously hesitate(almost) to bash such an attractive woman. However, I feel that it is necessary, due to her obvious lack of common sense. I’m not sure who designed the piece, and frankly, don’t really care. I’m after the front line abusers right now. The powers behind the scene will come later.

So here is Gisele, strutting down the catwalk looking mighty fine, with a hundred little images of a notorious mass murderer covering the naughty bits. I wonder what compelled her to submit to wearing such a thing, and what on earth went through her mind when she saw it for the first time.
I imagine it went something like this:

Designer: “Gisele, look at your next bikini!”

Gisele: “Sweet! Someone who should’ve been convicted of War Crimes going across my butt!”

Designer: “Wear it at your next show!”

Gisele: “Okay!”

I think I would almost be angrier if there was more substance to the conversation than that.
The highest paid model in the world wearing a communist. The irony is stunning, and I wonder how quick she would be to share her wealth, should she be locked under his regime. 

This really is a fashion faux-pas.
 
If the quality of her brains were half that of the quality of her legs, we might have a cure for stupidity by now.

I read an old article from the LA Times(dated June 1, 2008) in which the quasi-argument is made that over the decades, Che Guevara’s image has been diluted. The radicalism has been taken out, and now his face is simply seen as a symbol of change and revolting against authority.

How quickly the world forgets some symbols, and how long it takes to forget others. People wear t-shirts, necklace pendants, hang posters on their walls and put bumper stickers on their cars… all of these items emblazoned with the face of Fidel Castro’s lieutenant. Emblazoned with the face of a man who fought, tortured, and murdered to advance a political ideology that prohibits all of these items from even existing. Rage Against the Machine featured Che Guevara on Brad Wilk’s drum set, even though Che fought to put a ban on rock & roll in Cuba. Carlos Santana appeared at the Oscars wearing a Che t-shirt and a cross around his neck, even though Che was anti-religion and sent scores of Christians to concentration camps and the infamous La Cabaña prison, where they faced execution by firing squad.

Ask a random person in the street who is sporting some form of mass-marketed merchandise emblazoned with the face of Che Guevara, why they like that man. If they even know who he is to begin with, the answer is usually a generic “Because he fought for the people.”
I have to ask, which people? The innocents who he mowed down with a machine gun, or the innocents that he threw into a concentration camp to eventually die? What about Che’s comrade whom he shot in the side of the head, and then remarked in his journal, “I ended the problem with a .32 caliber pistol… His belongings are now mine.” 

Che was a common thug, who has been glorified by ignorance and, ironically enough, capitalism, that virtue he fought so hard to destroy. How he must be rolling in his Bolivian grave over every middle-class ‘rebel’ throughout the world wearing a mass-produced Che shirt, in order to symbolize their individualism and their disregard for authority. 

Che would have had them executed if they disregarded his authority.

For the first ‘real’ post of The Che Watch, I draw our attention to famed actor Benicio del Toro, who stars as the namesake of this website in the biopic ‘Che’ directed by himself and Steven Soderbergh. His respect for Che Guevara is well known, and that can be found in nearly any interview conducted with him about his movie. In this interview with the ‘Times Online‘ he mentions that just about anyone can relate to Che’s politics, and that he was simply a product of his time. 

Sure. Hitler was also a product of his time. So was Stalin. And Mao. And Pol Pot. They were all products of their time. I’m sorry, Benicio, but a murdering scumbag is a murdering scumbag. When you blindfold noncombatants and execute them by way of firing squad, you are simply a monster. 

Now, granted, del Toro did not come right out and express his glowing support for the man, but his respect  and admiration are more than enough to earn my suspicion about his character. 

I have a feeling that I will be repeating this line many times over the coming months:
Imagine that he publically admired and respected Hitler. Would he be greeted with the same fanfare? Because Che’s face is everywhere and he is delusionally regarded as a hero of the people, his atrocities can be forgiven. 

What if Tom Cruise wins an award for Valkyrie, and in his acceptance speech, he dedicates the film to Hitler, the same way del Toro dedicated his Cannes win to Che?